I was born on January 6, 1983 in downtown Richmond, Virginia at the well renowned Saint Mary's Hospital. Three weeks after I was born my father went to work and while he was gone my mother's side of the family packed up all of her stuff and moved her back home with my grandparents. Both my mother and father, being products of the 60's and 70's, were drug addicts and alcoholics. My mother, having cleaned up her act while she was pregnant with me, was tired of living that life and dealing with my father's erratic behavior, decided that she had had enough and left him. That was the last time I ever saw my father.
My father made many angered attempts to get to me at my grandparent's house.. breaking windows, banging on doors, verbal assaults, etc.. to such an extreme that my grandparents covered all windows and doors with thick iron bars. Eventually, I am told, that he stopped coming around but that he loved me even though he had been physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive to my mother since the beginning of their relationship.
My mother and I lived with my grandparents, Granny and Fafah, for a few years until she could get on her feet again. When I was 4 years old, my mother moved us into Wistar Village Apartments. It was hardly a good neighborhood but was all that she could afford while she attempted to put her life back in order. She began cleaning houses, making good money and starting to make a life for the two of us but living in the bad neighborhood put us back around drugs and excessive alcohol which she shortly again picked up as her daily routine as she continued to make local friends.
Yes, I was young at the time, not yet being even 5 years, but have an excellent memory of all events. I had to always be on alert, learn what things were, which people were nice and all of those memories have stuck in my head over the years. There were constant parties, loud music, always the smell of alcohol, drugs everywhere.. powder, pills, weed, heroine.. I saw it all. We frequented bars and stayed at others' houses for days on end. I made little to no friends for fear that they would take me away from my mother when I needed to be home, by her side, "protecting" her from all of the bad I would see on a day to day basis.
The police were called on us several times while we lived at Wistar Village. So many that before my fifth birthday, we were evicted. We then moved to London Towne Apartments. Things were quiet for a few months. My mother and I picked out a puppy that I named Amy and suddenly I had a new companion.. someone who I could call a best friend during all of the scary times. I started school that fall at Dumbarton Elementary and began making friends. I was a somewhat happier child than I had been because school gave me an escape from the madness every day.
Eventually though, all of my mother's old friends, and some new, started to again come around. My mother met a guy name Ricky that became her boyfriend. I had never liked Ricky. He was just like the rest of her friends.. an alcoholic and drug addict. He moved in with us and they became engaged. He also, was abusive to her and there were many nights where I would wake up in the middle of the night to screaming.. walk out in the hall with Amy and see my mother laying on the floor, beaten and bruised.
During this time, my grandparents never disappeared from the picture. I would sometimes spend weekends with them to help me get away from my mother and her life. They would get good meals in me and make sure I had a good night's rest every night that I was there. They bought me clothes, shoes, anything I needed. My mother's drug habit often prevented her from spending her money wisely. They watched out for me.. watching my mother's every move like a hawk.
By the time I turned six years old, my grandparents filed a petition with the courts to get custody of me. The courts then ordered my mother into rehab if she ever wanted to see me again, placing me temporarily with my grandparents. I switched schools during the summer and attended Glen Allen Elementary beginning on the first day of the first grade. Glen Allen Elementary was the best elementary school in the area and I thrived.. I made tons of new friends.. won spelling bees.. made high honor roll.. but was scared to death on a daily basis that I would be given back to my mother.
Sure enough, I was ordered to live with her again beginning in the second grade and I had to again say good-bye to my friends and switch schools. I attended Pinchbeck Elementary which ended up being right across from the Marble Hill Apartments that my mother and I moved into. It was convenient and, now being 8 years old, was able to walk to school by myself on days that my mother couldn't drag herself out of bed.. because yes, she again was back into drugs and alcohol.
However, I was thrilled to meet four sisters that lived across the backyard in another apartment. They were 4, 6, 8 and 12 in age, my best friend being the 8 year old, Jaime. Their parents partied some but not nearly as much as my mother so it was a relief to have an escape so close to home. Shortly after though, my mother became "friends" with their father. He would come over often, leaving the girls and his wife at home.. they would have sex and he would leave. Eventually their mother caught wind of what was going on and left him.. taking my four best friends with her. Their parents reconciled after a few months and he moved away to live with them in their new location.
We were able to renew our lease in that one location and I was actually able to start third grade at Pinchbeck Elementary as well. In the middle of my third grade year, my mother was evicted from Marble Hill for a violent fight that she was in with another tenant, sending that lady to the hospital, so again we picked up and moved to another school district.
My grandparents again got involved with social services and had them conducting weekly visits with my mother. As a motivation for my mother to stay clean, my grandparents purchased a house and a car for us. I completed my third grade year at Maude Trevette Elementary school. Conditions had not gotten better and my mother had me ducking away from windows and crawling along the floors to avoid Sandra Buckles, the social worker. Sandra let my grandparents know of the situation and they would come around peeking in windows to see if they could get a glimpse of us.. driving by the house in the middle of the night checking on things.
My mother, resenting my grandparents for constantly trying to "steal" me away from her, would often make snide remarks about them and eventually had me feeling as if they were unfairly judging her. I actually -wanted- to stay with my mother at this point, thinking that without me taking care of her something would happen to her and it would be my fault for not staying. If I was at a friend's house and I saw my grandparents driving down the street, I'd jump the fence to warn my mother before they got there. We'd close the curtains and act like we weren't there.. and it worked for a little while.
My mother was in horrible shape at this point and she started taking me to work with her during the week to help her clean houses. I missed so much school that year that I almost failed the third grade. My grades were horrible but I was able to be there often enough to get a passing grade at the end of the year. Over the summer, I fell skating down the street and broke my arm. My grandparents used this and the absences from school to present a case to the courts again.. this time for permanent custody of me.. and won.
